Dodesho: I am no fashionista, but...

By Alex Berger USA/ English TeacherThese days every time I open up the newspaper I am reminded that Japan is in the midst of a recession. But one wouldn’t know it to go walking down the streets of Tenjin. Scores of young men and women prowl the high-end haberdasheries and boutiques carrying as many as four or five large shopping bags on each arm in search of the latest fashion, seemingly oblivious to the economy crashing down all around them. Fashion is certainly a way of life in Japan and in these dire financial straits you would just as soon ... More...

Dodesho: An Educational Experience...

It's a struggle to keep focused on the big picture. I don't have any real problems yet: I have a place to stay, enough money for a plane ticket home, and thanks to the generosity of my friends I will not, in fact, work for food. But this follows weeks of panic and anxiety after the crash of eikaiwa-giant Nova, the ekimae ryugyaku, my former employer. Like me, thousands of ex-Nova teachers are now scrambling for jobs, in a low-hiring season, and asking themselves some crucial questions: how long can I stay before I need my plane money for grocerie... More...

Dodesho: The Continuing Worldwide Kancho Scandal

by Nicholas Klar, author of "My mother is a Tractor" Kancho. The very mention sends English teachers scurrying to the nearest wall, their hands linked defiantly around their crotch in a last-ditch measure of defence, albeit often in futility. Every year jumbo-loads of English teachers are disgorged into their home airports, walking like John Wayne, and telling of the horrors of kancho. Yet, little is mentioned in Japanese media. What is kancho and how did it reach such apparently plague proportions? According to Takipedia, the kancho atta... More...

Dodesho: Getting Up For Election!

I was happy to see the January election of comedian Sonomanma Higashi as the new governor of Miyazaki. Not just because Sonomanma may finally be known to foreigners for something other than Japanese Personality Most Likely to Be Mistaken for O.J. Simpson. Rather, it proves once again that acomic or singingtalento with precious little knowledge of government can succeed in Japanese politics. This list in recent years has included comedian and former Tokyo Gov. Yukio Aoshima, comedian and former Osaka Gov. Nokku "Knock" Yokoyama, and of cours... More...

Dodesho: Good Cop, Bored Cop

One of the great advantages of life in Japan is the safety we come to take for granted. I learned recently that the downside of this appears to be a police force bored enough to look for trouble where it does not lie. Allow me to be specific; I was waiting on my bicycle at a red light in Tenjin recently when I was stopped by three cops. They asked me where I got the mama-chari (grandma-style bicycle - a friend's old one bought at a recycle shop), took my gaijin card, asked me to get off, and radioed in the bike's details. Apparently, either the... More...

Dodesho: Night Riders

It's not that often I get angry; it takes a lot to push me over the edge. So, standing on my balcony at four in the morning in my undies yelling curses into the night, eyes wild and hair unkempt, I realized: This was serious. The first time it happened, I awoke - bleary-eyed - to what sounded like a building being demolished. Fearing either terrorism or a Godzilla-related disturbance, I staggered to my balcony, sleepily grabbing a frying pan in self defense. But there were no terrorists, and no giant monsters. There was only a long column o... More...

Dodesho: A Traditional Japanese Kurisumas

Christmas in Japan instantly brings to mind that well-known urban myth of Santa's crucifixion. The general consensus is that it occurred shortly after World War II, and that the perpetrator was a Tokyo department store. Still struggling to grapple with the concept of Christmas, and in the vague knowledge that it is somehow related to both Jesus and to Santa Claus, they decided to plaster the store with giant posters of Santa on a crucifix! Any foreign visitor to that particular store must have been left with the impression that somehow "It is C... More...

Dodesho: Such A Polite Country, but Where Are Your Manners?!

I do not slurp. But I believe my Japanese yatai comrades that slurping displays a passion for cuisine and can improve the ramen's taste. Hence, it is not an impolite deed. Nor is it when Japanese tell me, "Hana ga takai!" They're actually complimenting me on my big nose. Truly, I am impassioned with Japan. The ever-changing seasons and their colors, delightful festivals; the healing onsen and timeless ryokan. Most of all, the people: their sense of aesthetics, their vitality, their warmth and sensitivity. And especially their consideration for ... More...

Dodesho: Zangyou Blues

It's 8pm and I'm still at my desk. I work at an ordinary Japanese company. I work hard, and like all of the employees at my company, I do overtime (known as 'zangyou'). Lots of zangyou. Of the unpaid variety. And what do I do with my zangyou? Well, you know. I look up hemorrhagic fever on the net, flirt with Honda from accounting, drink coffee, sleep. You see, it's not about battling through the work I haven't finished yet. I finished all my work hours ago. It's not about the work. It's about the appearance of work, of going the extra mile for... More...

Dodesho: Speak American, Dammit!

Every non-American English teacher in Fukuoka has heard this dreaded phrase at least once: "Ano... sensei? You spelled that wrong. There's no 'u' in color." It's enough to make a Canuck want to bang her head against the whiteboard. Or a Kiwi, or an Aussie, or a Brit, or... in fact, pretty much anyone who is not American. At least once a semester I must stop my class and explain to a room full of patiently waiting (or sleeping) ichi-nensei students that 'no, in fact, I have not made a mistake.' There are two commonly accepted ways of spelling wo... More...

Dodesho: You Don't Say?!

If you live in Japan but don't speak Japanese, then you're the one who's been causing me all these problems. Let me explain: every time I go into a McDonalds, they flip the menu over to the English side before I reach the counter, and the staffer prepares to try to take my order through sign language. This isn't for me: I speak Japanese. No, they're doing this because of you, and it annoys the hell out of me! That's just the start of it. Public employees don't accept that I can speak Japanese, and insist on trying to communicate in English, d... More...

Dodesho: Soak up the Sun

It's the age-old question, literally, and it's happened to all of us at least a few times. You're drinking at your local izakaya when the Nihonjin nearby inevitably get up the courage to ask, "How old are you?" If you're savvy and have mastered the rules of this game, you reply, "Guess," at which point they "eeee" and "mmmm" for a few moments before giving what they assume to be a generously low number. In the end, you're forced to tell them that you are, in truth, still a good five years younger than that, a fact met with complete shock and am... More...

Dodesho: Driving me Crazy

For many, driving in Japan is an absolute nightmare, from the process of getting a Japanese driving licence to the terrifying driving experience itself. This kind of stress often leads to serious health problems, so a radical change of approach towards driving is necessary. After all, driving should be fun. One way of avoiding the stress is to think of it as a game. The idea is pretty simple. Your goal is to get to your destination on time. On the way, you have to overcome many obstacles. You can choose from five different characters. This ch... More...

Dodesho: Building Bridges With Chopsticks

What makes it so hard for cultures to communicate? This past winter, in the days following the Danish caricatures of the prophet Muhammad, which engendered fury and violence in some Islamic countries, I thought that question deserved at least as much attention as the violence itself. So, out here in rural Kyushu, I took the opportunity to tackle the problem of cross-cultural communication head-on with six of my students - all advanced speakers of English. Our point of departure was decidedly less heated; we tried to come to terms with an issue ... More...

Dodesho: Feeling Fruity

I'm not entirely sure what scurvy is, but I've been eating fruit most of my life to avoid finding out. And scurvy prevention isn't the only reason people eat fruit. It's actually quite tasty, it comes in all shapes and sizes, and some fruits even have funny names. Take the kumquat, cempedak and calabash for example. In these cases it's more of a mouthful to ask for the fruit than it is to actually eat it. So if there's one thing that unites mankind ﾐ except an appetite for war and destruction ﾐ it's fruit. While it's not uncommon for people t... More...

Dodesho: No Discrimination

tDid you know that March 21st is International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination? With that in mind, I would like to share this with you. tA week before my eldest daughter started elementary school in 2002, I went to her school and talked to the Principal, Vice-Principal and all the teachers about the importance of teaching children to respect individuality and accept others who look different as equals, but they didn't take me seriously. About two weeks after school started, she came back home from school very sad, telling us ... More...

Dodesho: The Sound of Muzak

By Drummond Moir, Scottish, Closet Jingle Junky Shakespeare's Orsino muses, "If music be the food of love, play on". Byron claimed that "there's music in all things if men had ears" to hear it. Abba said, "Thank you for the music", specifically, 'the songs we're singing'. Can you spot the connection? Yes, that's right: none of these people are Japanese. And I know why: because if they were, and were subject to the same constant, relentless, unfailingly irritating music that you hear absolutely everywhere over here, they wouldn't be singing abo... More...

Dodesho: Benches in Fukuoka

By Christine Kinoshita Belgian, Translator & Mother-to-be I've been living in Fukuoka for five years, and I've noticed lately how few benches there are in the city. In Belgium, we can take a break in many places - on the side of the street, in the park, at a bus stop, on the beach, at the station etc... But I rarely see such places in Fukuoka. Isn't there anyone out there who wants to sit down and take a break? For a breather, you can go to a cafe but isn't there anybody who wants to just sit for five minutes? Is there nobody wanting to sit i... More...

Dodesho: A Friend in Need

By Sarah Umetsu British, Translator & Narrator In the recent disasters around the world with Hurricane Katrina in the US and the giant quake in Pakistan, what was just as heartbreaking as hearing about the thousands who had died was seeing the thousands more left homeless. People outside for days on end, their only possessions what they can carry with them, left to the mercy of the unbearable heat or harsh cold and, particularly in the case of the elderly and infirm, with absolutely no means of getting themselves out of the situation. Tota... More...

Dodesho: Dutch, Part-time Pedestrian Revolutionary

Let your car be squashed to the size of a refrigerator and you'll get a year's free use of public transport! This is one of the more creative solutions they came up with in England to help reduce the many problems caused by cars in city centers. Engine trouble -Cars take up a lot of space. For each car in Japan, there are a mere four parking spaces -Around 50% of air pollution, and a lot of the noise pollution in most urban areas is thanks to cars -Cars kill. It is estimated that worldwide each year, 1.2 million people die in car accidents -An... More...
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