By Alex Berger
USA/ English Teacher
These days every time I open up the newspaper I am reminded that Japan is in the midst of a recession. But one wouldn’t know it to go walking down the streets of Tenjin. Scores of young men and women prowl the high-end haberdasheries and boutiques carrying as many as four or five large shopping bags on each arm in search of the latest fashion, seemingly oblivious to the economy crashing down all around them. Fashion is certainly a way of life in Japan and in these dire financial straits you would just as soon see someone selling off their car before parting with a prized Luis Vuitton purse or man-bag. Yes, the Japanese are willing to spend for their chic and, as with consumer electronics, they stay on the cutting edge…for the most part. But as a gaijin and outside observer (albeit one with little or no fashion sense), I can’t help but be dumbstruck by some glaring anachronisms.

The mullet. This “business in the front, party in the back” hairstyle has long since disappeared from mainstream fashion in my home country of America, now restricted to trailer park denizens and androgynous high school PE teachers. But in Japan, and Fukuoka is sadly no exception, the mullet is alive and well. Often combined with bleached hair and shaved-in lines on the side of the head, it is a staple of young men going for the “tougher than thou” look.

Abercrombie and Fitch. If I would have known how cool Abercrombie and Fitch clothing was in Japan, I would have saved all my gear from high school and brought it to Fukuoka with me. I would be the coolest gaijin on the block. I don’t know if it is because A&F apparel is more expensive here, sold in small boutiques rather than loud mall shops peopled with clerks who ignore you, or if no one has bothered to tell the Japanese that it is strictly teenie-bopper gear (circa 1999). But it is heartbreaking to see a glammed-up girl in high-heeled boots, flawless make-up and cute skirt sporting an Abercrombie hoodie.

The scrunchy. This fabric covered hair tie was pretty hot…on Beverly Hills 90210. Before coming to Fukuoka, I hadn’t seen one since I was in about the 6th grade when I was into wearing a Hypercolor t-shirt and slap bracelet. I was hoping the scrunchy had joined those long-forgotten fads in obscurity. But now I see them popping up in hair and even on wrists all over again. Elementary school was an awkward period I have been desperately trying to forget and now every time I see a scrunchy it all comes rushing back to me with brute force.

Shants. Also known euphemistically as “Capri Pants,” these not-quite shorts, not-quite pants will always be shants to me. Or ports, I guess. These made a brief appearance in the States in the late '90s. I didn’t mind so much when women wore them, but when dudes donned them, it was a different story. They are still relatively popular in Fukuoka, much to my chagrin. I don’t really have a rational explanation as to what is so offensive about them. I guess I just wish people could decide if they should wear shorts or pants. Skirting the issue is just a sign of weakness.

The bouffant. This hairstyle is a throwback to the 1960s housewife, but has been adopted by the young affluent Japanese girl. It is a particularly popular look among the Nakasu set. In America this style resigned in tandem with the Nixon administration to the relief of a grateful nation. You must admit something is out of whack when a 5 foot tall pixieish girl has three foot tall hair. It's like if the creature from the "Alien" movies threw on some make-up, fishnet stockings, and a pair of Gucci sunglasses to go hunting for its prey. In this case that prey would be a financially attractive businessman in a three-piece suit.

Now, please, please, please don't get me wrong. As I said before I am no fashionista and, believe me, I find Japanese style to be largely refreshing when compared to the drab 30 year-old frat boy/conservative banana republic working girl looks that infest my beloved (and battered) America. I absolutely love that girls in Fukuoka refuse to leave the house unmade-up and without the newest shiniest stiletto boots and attention grabbing miniskirt, even if they are merely heading out to the laundromat for five minutes. I have yet to feel the same way about men's fashion, which I have dubbed "Rufio Chic" (named for the leader of the lost boys in the movie "Hook") characterized by feathered hair, swashbuckling sharp-toed boots, and shiny bauble-like accessories. But, luckily, I won't have to because I will never find such articles that fit my 6' 3" gaijin frame. I merely find it amusing that amongst all the high (priced) fashion clip-clopping its way around Fukuoka, certain fashion faux-pas' long extinct in the Western world still rear their unsightly heads. Like a Tyranosarus Rex that refuses to accept its inevitable demise.

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