飲酒レベル・ファイブ

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

諺にもあるように「人酒を飲む、酒酒を飲む、酒人を飲む」とは言ったもの、飲むうちにすっかり我を忘れてしまうのが酒飲みの常。特に日本（九州か？）の飲みっぷりは異常な程なのだ。とはいえ、郷に入っては…とも云うし。…英語教師フランクの飲酒生活を垣間みてみよう。 泥酔指数 １－平日夜10時、友達と長浜の屋台にて。ビールを何本か飲んだところで常連のオジさん達に勧められて酒をくいっ。「オゴるから次行かない？」と友達。「明日は早いけど7時間眠ればOKか」 泥酔指数 ２－日が替わって、天神のバーでさらにビールをジョッキで数杯。如何に納豆があり得ないか、を議論してるくらいだから思考回路はまだ正常。でもしだいに脳内悪魔の囁きが聞こえてくる。「今サイコーに楽しんでるんだ、明日の授業？5時間も眠れば大丈夫」 泥酔指数 ３－午前1時。ビールに飽きて今度はウィスキー！今度は、如何に納豆が体にいいかレクチャーしだす始末。ウェイトレスのコが世界一の美女に見えてくるし、知らない人と意気投合して酒をおごってみたり。酒三昧の日々を想像したりして、サイコーに気分がいい。調子に乗った悪魔がこう囁く「3時間眠れば元気さ！」 泥酔指数 ４－博多のバーにて午前2時。ウィスキーのボトルとポカリをオーダーして完全にショートする。さらに「バーテンの彼、ス・テ・キ・」…が、とうとう閉め出されて友達とホステスバーへ。『どうせなら今夜はオールだ！どっかのグルっぽく見えても気にしない！明日は19時間眠れるし。」 泥酔指数 ５－早朝5時、何故だか佐世保のバーにいる。腕には「EMI」のタトゥーなんか彫っちゃって（誰だよ、EMI って！）。そこは脳内悪魔さえ寄り付かないようなアヤシイ場所。そして、まるでアニメみたいな青くて不思議なお酒を飲んでる。オレンジの髪に鼻ピアスのウェイトレス眺めて「結婚したいな」とか思ってるし。さらに「フランクぅ、カラオケに行こうぜえ！」と言ったまま気を失う友人。いかん、酔いを覚ましに外へ出ようとドアを開けた瞬間、マブシイ！ホンモノの悪魔？か…いや、朝日だ。えー、マジ～？！ 10代ならオールナイトってカッコいい。でもトシを重ねるにつれて、朝の光がお釈迦様の後光のように思えちゃう。皆その光に向かって誓う言葉は同じだろ？「もう絶対しません」て。みなさんドォデショ？ By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

諺にもあるように「人酒を飲む、酒酒を飲む、酒人を飲む」とは言ったもの、飲むうちにすっかり我を忘れてしまうのが酒飲みの常。特に日本（九州か？）の飲みっぷりは異常な程なのだ。とはいえ、郷に入っては…とも云うし。…英語教師フランクの飲酒生活を垣間みてみよう。 泥酔指数 １－平日夜10時、友達と長浜の屋台にて。ビールを何本か飲んだところで常連のオジさん達に勧められて酒をくいっ。「オゴるから次行かない？」と友達。「明日は早いけど7時間眠ればOKか」 泥酔指数 ２－日が替わって、天神のバーでさらにビールをジョッキで数杯。如何に納豆があり得ないか、を議論してるくらいだから思考回路はまだ正常。でもしだいに脳内悪魔の囁きが聞こえてくる。「今サイコーに楽しんでるんだ、明日の授業？5時間も眠れば大丈夫」 泥酔指数 ３－午前1時。ビールに飽きて今度はウィスキー！今度は、如何に納豆が体にいいかレクチャーしだす始末。ウェイトレスのコが世界一の美女に見えてくるし、知らない人と意気投合して酒をおごってみたり。酒三昧の日々を想像したりして、サイコーに気分がいい。調子に乗った悪魔がこう囁く「3時間眠れば元気さ！」 泥酔指数 ４－博多のバーにて午前2時。ウィスキーのボトルとポカリをオーダーして完全にショートする。さらに「バーテンの彼、ス・テ・キ・」…が、とうとう閉め出されて友達とホステスバーへ。『どうせなら今夜はオールだ！どっかのグルっぽく見えても気にしない！明日は19時間眠れるし。」 泥酔指数 ５－早朝5時、何故だか佐世保のバーにいる。腕には「EMI」のタトゥーなんか彫っちゃって（誰だよ、EMI って！）。そこは脳内悪魔さえ寄り付かないようなアヤシイ場所。そして、まるでアニメみたいな青くて不思議なお酒を飲んでる。オレンジの髪に鼻ピアスのウェイトレス眺めて「結婚したいな」とか思ってるし。さらに「フランクぅ、カラオケに行こうぜえ！」と言ったまま気を失う友人。いかん、酔いを覚ましに外へ出ようとドアを開けた瞬間、マブシイ！ホンモノの悪魔？か…いや、朝日だ。えー、マジ～？！ 10代ならオールナイトってカッコいい。でもトシを重ねるにつれて、朝の光がお釈迦様の後光のように思えちゃう。皆その光に向かって誓う言葉は同じだろ？「もう絶対しません」て。みなさんドォデショ？ By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

 

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

諺にもあるように「人酒を飲む、酒酒を飲む、酒人を飲む」とは言ったもの、飲むうちにすっかり我を忘れてしまうのが酒飲みの常。特に日本（九州か？）の飲みっぷりは異常な程なのだ。とはいえ、郷に入っては…とも云うし。…英語教師フランクの飲酒生活を垣間みてみよう。 泥酔指数 １－平日夜10時、友達と長浜の屋台にて。ビールを何本か飲んだところで常連のオジさん達に勧められて酒をくいっ。「オゴるから次行かない？」と友達。「明日は早いけど7時間眠ればOKか」 泥酔指数 ２－日が替わって、天神のバーでさらにビールをジョッキで数杯。如何に納豆があり得ないか、を議論してるくらいだから思考回路はまだ正常。でもしだいに脳内悪魔の囁きが聞こえてくる。「今サイコーに楽しんでるんだ、明日の授業？5時間も眠れば大丈夫」 泥酔指数 ３－午前1時。ビールに飽きて今度はウィスキー！今度は、如何に納豆が体にいいかレクチャーしだす始末。ウェイトレスのコが世界一の美女に見えてくるし、知らない人と意気投合して酒をおごってみたり。酒三昧の日々を想像したりして、サイコーに気分がいい。調子に乗った悪魔がこう囁く「3時間眠れば元気さ！」 泥酔指数 ４－博多のバーにて午前2時。ウィスキーのボトルとポカリをオーダーして完全にショートする。さらに「バーテンの彼、ス・テ・キ・」…が、とうとう閉め出されて友達とホステスバーへ。『どうせなら今夜はオールだ！どっかのグルっぽく見えても気にしない！明日は19時間眠れるし。」 泥酔指数 ５－早朝5時、何故だか佐世保のバーにいる。腕には「EMI」のタトゥーなんか彫っちゃって（誰だよ、EMI って！）。そこは脳内悪魔さえ寄り付かないようなアヤシイ場所。そして、まるでアニメみたいな青くて不思議なお酒を飲んでる。オレンジの髪に鼻ピアスのウェイトレス眺めて「結婚したいな」とか思ってるし。さらに「フランクぅ、カラオケに行こうぜえ！」と言ったまま気を失う友人。いかん、酔いを覚ましに外へ出ようとドアを開けた瞬間、マブシイ！ホンモノの悪魔？か…いや、朝日だ。えー、マジ～？！ 10代ならオールナイトってカッコいい。でもトシを重ねるにつれて、朝の光がお釈迦様の後光のように思えちゃう。皆その光に向かって誓う言葉は同じだろ？「もう絶対しません」て。みなさんドォデショ？ By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man – Japanese Proverb Visitors to Japan will notice that there’s an awful lot of drinking going on here. Most resident gaijin don’t have a problem with it – after all, “When in Romeﾓ ﾉ or Fukuoka. So I thought that we should pause to consider the phenomenon of drunkenness and the foreign English sensei. I once received an e-mail about the joys of drinking to excess as espoused by comedian Larry Miller. I have adapted it to reflect the local culture: ﾒFive Levels of Drinking in Japanﾓ. LEVEL 1 It’s 10:30 on a weeknight and, let’s call him Frank, is with friends at the yatai in Nagahama. Frank’s had a few Kirin, plus some sake that the group at the next bench insisted he drink. He gets up to leave because he has to teach Period One the next day, but one of his friends buys another round. At Level One he thinks to himself: ﾒAs long as I get seven hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 2 It’s midnight. Frank is sitting in a bar in Tenjin (something akin to ﾒFlavor from the Insidesﾓ or ﾒBingo Loveﾓ) and had a few more beers. He’s just spent 20 minutes arguing against natto. Again he gets up to leave, but at Level Two a little devil appears on his shoulder. Now he’s thinking: ﾒHey, I’m out with my friends! What am I in Kyushu for anyway? As long as I get five hours’ sleep, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 3 It’s one in the morning. Frank has abandoned beer in favour of Suntory whisky. He’s just spent twenty minutes arguing FOR natto. He’s thinking: ﾒOur waitress is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!ﾓ At Level Three Frank loves Fukuoka, he loves Japan, he loves the world. On the way to the toire, he buys a drink for the salaryman at the end of the bar. Just because he likes his face. He begins to engage in drinking fantasies like: ﾒHey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live here forever. We could do it. James, you could cook.ﾓ But at Level Three that devil on his shoulder is bigger – and he’s buying. Now Frank’s thinking: ﾒAs long as I get three hours’ sleep – and a change of blood – I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 4 It’s two in the morning at ﾒKuros Nudeﾓ in Hakata. And the devil is bartending. At last call Frank orders an extra-large bottle of sake and a Pocari Sweat. He IS natto! Frank is thinking: ﾒOur barman is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen!ﾓ He and his friends decide to leave, right after they’re thrown out, and someone knows a hostess bar in Oyafuko. At Level Four Frank thinks to himself: ﾒWell, if I’m only going to get a few hours’ sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! I don’t mind going to that staff meeting looking like Shoko Asahara. I’ll turn it around and make it work for me. Besides, as long as I get nineteen hours’ sleep tomorrow, I’m cool.ﾓ LEVEL 5 It’s five in the morning. Frank unsuccessfully tries to get his money back at the tattoo parlor (ﾒBut I don’t know anybody named Emi!ﾓ). He and his friends have found themselves in Sasebo, at a bar with American sailors and guys who have been in prison as recently as that morning. It’s the kind of place where even the devil says: ﾒUh, I gotta turn in. I’ve got that brunch with Hitler, can’t miss that.ﾓ At this point, they’re all drinking some kind of thick blue concoction – like something from an anime feature – at roughly ｴ800 a pop. A waitress with nose rings and orange hair comes over, and Frank thinks to himself: ﾒSomeday I’m gonna marry that girl!ﾓ One of his friends stands up and screams: ﾒLet’s go to a karaoke bar!ﾓ And then passes out. They all crawl outside for air, and that’s when one hits the worst part of Level Five: the sun. They weren’t expecting it. You never do. Frank and his buddies walk out into daylight and see people on their way to work. And they look at him in a strange way, as if to say: ﾒWho’s Emi?ﾓ Let’s face it, if Frank was 19 and stayed up all night, it’s like a victory because he would’ve beaten the night. But if you’re older, the sun is like God’s flashlight. Frank and his ilk all say the same prayer, usually kneeling at the porcelain shrine: ﾒI swear I’ll never do this again as long as I live – and this time, I mean it!ﾓ Dodesho? By Nicholas Klar Australian, Author of ﾒMy Mother is a Tractorﾓ Illustrations by Shirley Waisman